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The musings of a woebegone jackal.


So yea, MFF went well, as far as disasters go. I never really made it to a single panel, or much for any sanctioned events for that matter.  Few of my out-of-state friends even showed up.

Funny though, I still had a blast anyway. It helps I had my awesome room mates vizza, thesomething, and krioskto bother whenever I had a chance. Plus, most of the locals from the MN group were there and willing to let me pester them endlessly.

I hit up the comedy shows mostly as far as events go, and of course I spend every night at the dances. Even got into and few room parties, escaping one right before the Suits broke it up. Dragging the roomies around, talking to strangers, trying and failing to get food with more then just myself, escaping creepers, and hooking back up with friends I haven't seen in forever... It really was a blast. To be honest, the entire weekend was just one long string of socializing and pretty much lighting a fire under people's fuzzy butts. It was... Delorious. Thats delicious AND glorious. What can I say, someone needs to be the life of the party. :P

The ride home was melancholy, mostly everyone kind of kept to themselves
or slept as we drove along. Understandable, but it hammered home how
lame returning to everyday life really can be.

...

I can't wait to do this again. :D
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
05 October 2011 @ 02:43 am
I'm now 24, and feeling really old compared to most of my friends.

ugh.

I just want cake, and a box filled with packing peanuts....




My bestie jackalbutt friend, Jinkx, has obliged... plus her face.  Awesome.
Tags: ,
 
 
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
26 July 2011 @ 01:00 pm
... from the 14th-18th visiting my mate down there, and I finally got to see the state first hand.  I'll tell you what, small town Texas is exactly what I always thought it would be, and matched pretty much anything I was ever told.  Its a pretty close minded place down there, from random stranger comments to things her mother/family would say behind my back.  I always knew that part of the country wasn't for me, though I won't write it off quite yet; I hear Austin is glorious, so I have to get down there at some point so I can make my final, though predictable, judgment.

Other then that, I had a great time down there with my little Chibee.  We actually lounged around the hotel room most of the time (very comfortably, mind you...), cuddling and just enjoying the company of one another.  Being close to people is one of my favorite things, and you just can't beat the feeling of the one you love.

I'd like to say were weren't entirely lumpy though, we peeled ourselves away to make a few playdates and even see the new Harry Potter.... which was GREAT by the way, even if I think big V's death was lame.  Also toured her campus, which was interesting since I haven't seen a collage grounds so intimately before.  Lots of stray cats... and skunks.  Odd.

I miss her dearly already, and I can't wait to constantly annoy her again.  <3
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
Love, is what the trouble is.

I'm glad June is over, it was such a confusing and stressful month for me.

Last month, on the 6th, would have been Xaria's and my 1 1/2 year mark.  And on the same token it was the first month, on the 12th, that  Chi (Lyndsay) and I had been together.

The thing is, I never stop loving anyone if I truly felt deeply for them.  As it stands, I've had two great loves in my life, and Xaria was one of them.  I'm not sure how many know, but I had plans to propose to her, and I had never wanted that with anyone before.  Nearly on the eve of when I wanted to is when we broke up... I have never felt so hurt in my entire life.  All I feel is some sort of void that can never be filled, and I know I'm going to deal with this scar for a very long time.

Now I find myself struggling to cope with the idea that my devotion may have been misplaced, yet I can't seem to convince myself of that.  All I ever wanted was to grow old with her, and nothing she could do, or anything anyone ever said was able to sway me from that.  Our personalities complimented one another's so well, and we always seemed to find a way to have a good time together.  I know I'm always going to miss that.  I just wish she could have accepted me, for all my good and my faults, as I did her. 

All I want now is to be her friend, I just want her to be part of my life in some way and I hers.  We had a lot of adventures and I'll always treasure these memories; I don't want to forget, about our past or about her.
 
I have a new squeeze now-a-days, and she is amazing herself.  Chi has been an wonderful friend to me for a long time now, being supportive of me when I was having issues, and I would always try to be there for her in the same.  We both came out of pretty bad breakups, and things kind of just clicked.  She treats me great, and seems to accept me for me, all the while putting up with my antics.  It was a natural progression, and I have high hopes for a future together with her.  We have been talking alot about it in fact, and it makes me feel great knowing she wants more.

Thats the problem though, because even if my love life moves on I am not the kind of person who 'gets over' people.  I love deeply, and thats not something that ever goes away.  My past, my future... Always in conflict with one another. 

Xaria will always be the girl I regret.  Not because I wish it didn't happen, but because there will always be a part of me that wishes it did.

Love... thats what the trouble is.
 
 
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
16 May 2011 @ 11:20 am
 

Mostly because I was bumming around with Kanni, this bunbun from Texas.
 
 
 
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
26 March 2011 @ 02:56 am
So, don't get mad when I don't reply to texts or calls... I just can't get them right now.  xD

Yea, so Samsung forced an update through onto my phone that they knew was already causing problems with other people about a month prior.  So, its just my luck that i was on the next string of people for them to try and fuck over.  Supposedly they thought they fixed the issues, but obviously they haven't.  Basically that means I now have firmware that is incompatible with my phone and has corrupted everything.

I sent it in to be evaluated, and I should have it in 6 business days... basically, 2 weeks pretty much.  This is going to suck rowdy.
 
 
Current Mood: gloomygloomy
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
11 January 2011 @ 06:55 am
My friend clandestine Jinkx has put the jumper cables to my butt and initiated a challenge between the two of us; We both are to draw at least one picture a day, and try to beat the other to posting it on their FA. The idea behind it is to motivate me to draw more, and to give her practice.

Lets see how this pans out shall we? In the end it should at least be a bit of fun.
 
 
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
09 January 2011 @ 06:24 am

 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
08 January 2011 @ 06:34 am
I was sitting on a leather couch at some club, dancing in my seat playfully as I waited for... someone.
Apparently my friend was there as well, and she sat next to me wondering what I was doing all alone, saying it wasn't like me.  I wasn't really sure myself, but I told her to stay with me; company is always welcome.

She sat down next to me, twiddling her thumbs with the beat of the music all around us.  She looked like a menace, like she knew something I didn't.  Before I could ask what was on her mind however, she full body tackled me into the couch.  I cried out, not in pain, but surprise.  I wasn't sure what to do, but she began to pull on my hair, all the while using her feet against my tummy as leverage. 

I let this go on for but a moment before firing back, grabbing her hoodie, trying to do anything to upset her upper hand.  She just pulled harder, mocking me with laughter...

-----------------------------------------------------------------
And then I woke up.  On my computer screen was an IM window from my friend Jinkx, and SL running behind it.

I had seriously just waffle faced in the middle of some playful feral RP with my friend, and my character on SL idling in a virtual club... bleh.  Its weird that you can have a dream when you were asleep maybe two minutes.  xD
 
 
Current Mood: groggygroggy
 
 
The musings of a woebegone jackal.
02 January 2011 @ 04:58 pm

1) Where did you begin 2010?
At home unfortunately.

2) What was your status by Valentine’s Day?
Taking my love out on the town... we had hibachi.   :3

3) Were you in school anytime this year?
Nope, wish I was though.

4) How did you earn your money?
Being that good ol' pizza boi at Papa John's.

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
If I had to, I wouldn't have anyway... xD

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
Got pulled over a few times, but no tickets.

7) Would you relive 2010 over and over again?
Sure, it wasn't a bad year and I had a job for most of it.  >.>

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
My '95 Civic hatch.  <333

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
My cousin.

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
My baby girl Chia, she was a rat.  Also ChilliBean, our family dog.  T-T

11) Did you know anyone who had a baby?
Not that I can think of.

12) Did you move anywhere?
Nope, going to in a few weeks though...

13) What concerts/shows did you go to?
I went to a rave where some big name dubstep artist was playing for my birthday, but I honestly can't remember his name. 

14) Are you registered to vote?
Yea.

15) Do you still have the same job as you did in 2009?
Yus, I /did/.

16) Has anyone betrayed you in 2010?
All day, every day.

17) Where do you live now?
Minnesota.

18) Describe your birthday?
I was working... bleh.

19) What’s one thing you thought you’d never do but did in 2010?
Quit my job just so I could go and see my mate, to make sure we were ok and that she didn't spend Halloween alone.

20) What has been your favorite moment?
Being able to spend MFF and the following week for Thanksgiving with my love.  <3

21) What’s something you learned about yourself?
I think I'm to laid back for my own good.   v_v

22) Any new additions to your family?
Nope, I hate babies!  D:<

23) What was your best month?
November.

24) Were you in a relationship this year?
Yes indeedy. <3

25) What music will you remember 2010 by?
Adam Lampert, "For Your Entertainment".  Song makes be wanna dance... AND HES SO SEXY! 8D

26) Favorite book you read?
Out of Position by Kyell Gold, and Shiver by Meggie Stiefvater.

27) Favorite Movie?
I guess Inception is prolly my best guess off hand.

28) Favorite TV show?
Adventure Time!

29) New friend?
Met a bunch of new people i care alot for, even if I can't physically see them.

30) Would you say you’ve changed since the beginning of this year?
My depression seems to be making its way back in my life... >.<
On the bright side, I've learned to ignore it.  ^.^

31) Do you think 2011 will be better or worse?
So far, looks like it could go either way.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused